Are You in an Abusive Relationship?
Relationship violence can happen to anyone -married, dating, straight, same-sex, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends, ex-spouses, and to every gender, age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, culture and religion. No one should live in fear of the person they love, but identifying domestic violence and abuse can be hard when its’ psychological, not physical. Relationship violence occurs when a partner repeatedly uses shame, guilt, fear, threats or intimidation to emotionally control their partner. Recognizing the signs of relationship violence is the first step to getting help.
Questions to Identify Relationship Violence
Does your partner…
- Humiliate or belittle you in front of friends, family or in public?
- Put down your goals or accomplishments?
- Constantly criticize your abilities as their spouse, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, employee or student?
- Constantly call you names?
- Make you feel helpless to make your own decisions?
- Threaten to harm you, your children, pets, friends or family to gain compliance?
- Destroy personal property or your valuables to scare you?
- Tell you that you’re nothing without them?
- Grab, hit, punch, push or shove you?
- Call or text you constantly or show-up to make sure you’re where you said you’d be?
- Isolate you from friends or family?
- Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for hurting you physically or verbally?
- Blame you for how they feel?
- Pressure you to do sexual acts or have sex when you don’t want to?
- Act jealous of other people in your life?
- Threaten to harm themselves or commit suicide if you leave?
Do you…
- Feel scared of how your partner will act?
- Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
- Believe that you can help your partner change if only you change something about yourself?
- Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
- Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
- Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
- Stay with your partner because you’re afraid of what they’d do if you broke up?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you might be in an abusive relationship. You are not to blame and help is available. If you need help, please visit the How UConn Can Help page now.